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Square Enix Glamour Dresser in Uninstanced Areas Crashes Server

  1. Investigating(current)
  2. Trending(upcoming)
  3. Workaround available(upcoming)
  4. Resolved(upcoming)

Executive summary

Opening the glamour dresser in uninstanced areas causes the entire server to crash because the codebase lacks a load-bearing coconut (LBC) for it.

No verified workaround yet

None of the linked reports describe a mitigation. Follow this incident to hear when one appears.

Technical root cause

The codebase lacks a load-bearing coconut mechanism for the glamour dresser when accessed outside of uninstanced areas.

Evidence

1 report · 1 BlueskyShow
  1. [1]
    Bluesky First report
    SE: we can’t have the glamour dresser in uninstanced areas bc we never put a LBC* in our spaghetti code; opening it outside will crash the whole server(opens Bluesky post in a new tab)

    SE: we can’t have the glamour dresser in uninstanced areas bc we never put a LBC* in our spaghetti code; opening it outside will crash the whole server SE, 2026: looking at the armoire with cartoon slide whistle noise *load-bearing coconut

    by elfexegete.bsky.social 9upvotes 1comments

Timeline

  1. First report on Bluesky post

    SE: we can’t have the glamour dresser in uninstanced areas bc we never put a LBC* in our spaghetti code; opening it outside will crash the whole server

    Source